And away we go...

Introduction

When it comes the Corinthians, they seem like so many other prosperous cities in the

Roman Empire. Large due to trade and military. Corrupt due to a pagan temple. And a

church that is caught somewhere between the indulgence of the city and the morality of

empty religion. I think this feels a lot like the world we live in today. But that makes sense.

There is nothing new under the sun. Sin is the same today as it was then. However, so is the

God we serve. He is the one who speaks light into the darkness. Paul writes to the

Corinthians in response to reports he has received from the church. He addresses internal

issues and answers questions they have about the specifics of Christian life. Something I

love about Paul is that he is very thematic. His epistles speak on many different subjects, but

woven through different topics is always one theme that he is driving home. In this letter,

Paul desires that the church be unified. I was amazed that in the greeting, just the first three

verses, Paul is already making clear the oneness of the Church body.

1 Corinthians 1:1-3

Paul, called by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus, and our brother Sosthenes,

To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints

together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both

their Lord and ours:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 

The word “our” is used 4 times in these 3 verses. Paul speaks of “our brother”, “our Lord

Jesus”, referring to Him as “their Lord and ours”, and “God our Father”. Paul is connecting

himself with the church. The God they serve is not theirs, He is ours. He is the thing that

unifies. And He doesn’t just unite Paul and the Corinthian church, He unites all believers

everywhere together. The letter is addressed “To the church of God that is in Corinth….

Together with all those who in every place call upon the name of out Lord Jesus Christ,”

When I read this it struck me that this letter was written to me as well. We cannot read this

letter and claim it is for another culture in another time. If we call on the name of Christ, this

letter is for us. If we call on the name of Christ, we are united with this church 2000 years ago

through His name.

This unity is through His name and it is for His name. In John 17:21 Jesus

prays, “that they may be one, just as You, Father are in Me, and I in You, that they also may

be in Us, so that the world may believe that You have sent me.” Our unity is for so much

more than brotherhood or solidarity. It is because when they see our love for our brothers

and a mutual sacrifice in order to have harmony, the world will take notice. They will

understand that Christ is who He says He is. I reflected on how many issues I take with

God’s people and how much that must grieve the Lord. I have an opportunity when there is

disagreement with a sister to not only preach (through my actions) the Gospel to that sister,

but also to the world watching. Christ laid down His life for me. I can humbly submit to others,

laying down my right to be right. I can fight for oneness in the church. I hope, as I join a new

church body, I will make that my goal. As far as I am able, I will fight for oneness for our good

and God’s glory.

Conquering: Revisited

It has come to my attention that (again) I have been neglecting this blog. Although a crazy work schedule, involvement in my local church, keeping up a social life and planning a wedding may be justification enough for blowing off my blog, all of that is not reason enough to neglect time with the Lord. I have let an inconsistent schedule be my excuse for pushing aside my Bible for the last two years. Now that things are starting to quiet down, I can hear the Lord prompting me to return to His Word and deepen my knowledge of Him. 

As I thought back on school and the sweet times I had in the Word, some of my favorite times were during the course I took on preaching. I loved spreading my books out on the floor of my dorm room and diving deeper into a passage of Scripture. When I began this blog I wanted it to be a reflection of what I was studying. I am determined to do that now.  

So... here is the plan. 

Once a week I commit to writing a sermon on the passage I am studying. Not  a long one, more of a devotion really. And I am going to post a summary or my favorite thoughts here. Not that I believe I have something to teach the world, but more because I know God has something to teach me. I am motivated by deadlines, so Fridays by noon with be my due date. And the book I will be going through for the next probably year of my life is going to be 1 Corinthians. 1) because I have study materials on it and 2) because I love both the Gospel truth and the life application found in Paul's letters. 

Friday, September 7th will be my first post. An introduction to 1 Corinthians and Paul's greetings to the church. If any of you feels the desire to keep my accountable I would love some gentle (or not so) nagging if I miss my deadline. I am so excited to see what God teaches me. Thanks for supporting me as I study His Word for my good and His glory.

UPDATE: 
It's been over 2 months since I began this project. I found out that the deadline, the goal, the study wasn't enough of a motivator for me to be daily in God's Word. But finally I think the Lord is revealing to me my true heart. I have spent so long trying to fill my day with things that I wanted to satisfy me. But none of them were enough. And the more I fill myself with these things, the less room I left of the Spirit to move in me. What is enough to motivate me to change is the Cross. Jesus died so that we could live in Him. He gave His life because only He can satisfy our needs. I'm doing some practical things to help redeem my days. Like organizing my day and week and pulling out my old prayer journals to keep things tangible. But my hope and prayer is the Lord keeps my need for Him ever before my eyes and I would labor after Him first. (updated 11/26/12)

Wiggin' Out

"So..." She began with a look of genuine care across her face, "how are you doing with all the changes coming up in your life?" I hadn't been asked that question yet. I'd been asked "where will you live?" "what will you do?" "how are the plans?" but not "how are you doing?" and the answer is pretty simple. "I'm FREAKED!" Yes i am SO stoked to be married! Yes, I can not wait to begin a life with Jake. But in all honesty. I'm wiggin' out on the inside. In four months EVERYTHING changes. My home, my roommate, my job, my family (the part where i gain a new one) my church, my city, even my grocery shopping. Nothing will be the same. I will go from Abigail Thomson, San Diego barista living with 3 friends from college attending Kaleo church and dating the SDCC chaplain to Abigail Ruth Wilhelm. And with the new name will come new everything else.

That is the intro of a blog I intended to write on how Christ is interceding for my life before the Father. And maybe I'll get to that blog eventually. But suddenly I realized that those last few lines sound like the beginning of an identity crisis. And they are, aren't they? It's only a matter of time and I will no longer be Abigail Thomson San Diego anything. So, if that is what my identity is in I'm in trouble. Desperate, tragic trouble. And i should be wiggin' out that is the only reasonable thing to do. HOWEVER, i want more than that. I want to stand firm, not feel shaken. And I can, Because my true identity is in the one who bought me with His blood. It is as a daughter of the Most High God. I pray He reminds me daily of that for my good and His glory.

Now... Would you do something for me? Would you comment on this post with verses that remind you of you of your identity in Christ? It would be a HUGE encouragement to me. Thank you for sharing!

Perfection

It has been a crazy couple of months. Pair that with the fact that I was never a very diligent blogger to begin with, and the result is an almost 3 month absence from posting. But here I am again realizing that what I thought would be a simple project of recording random ramblings and periodic ponderings has morphed into a once-a-month (or once-a-three-month) attempt to express within a small community the impact that Christ is having on me. 

 

Welp... I'm engaged! December 18th 2011 I agreed to marry Jake W Wilhelm. He is such a good man and I am so beyond blessed to be his wife in to the not too distant future. For years I have looked forward to being engaged. Being a wife and a mother has been the goal of my professional career since I was in elementary school. While other kids wanted to grow up to be doctors, firefighters, teachers and soccer players I wanted to be an archeologist! However, I soon outgrew that childish fantasy and settled comfortably into the dream of domestic engineer. Now, I see the dream stretched out before me and I can't wait to begin! But inwardly I'm scared. I thought I'd be MORE by now. More patient, more kind, more submissive, more encouraging, more wise, dare I say more perfect. 

This leads me to the lesson the Lord has been teaching me in the last few months. I am not perfect. SHOCKER! The Lord has shown me my weaknesses in new and beautiful ways through engagement. And it's been frustrating. I mean you think that knowing I'm not expected to be perfect would be relief but instead I'm annoyed. And here is the real kicker. God has been peeling away the layers to reveal my true heart about perfection. I don't want to be perfect to bless others or to be the best wife ever. I want personal perfection because I want salvation on my terms. It's not enough for me that Christ died to reconcile a wretch like me to Himself, I want to earn it on my own. Like the little girl up the street I stomp my foot and shriek "I do it MYSELF!" 

I believe that in this the Lord is even more gracious to me. He kindly reveals my imperfections. This is kindness because only when I see them as truth can I turn to Him. My Hero. My Redeemer. The one who sees the sin that my heart has closed its eyes to and takes it, giving to me what I strive so hard for on my own. Perfection. May I rejoice in the flaws of my humanity because they are the reason I receive the blessing of Christ Himself. I need Him and may I daily acknowledge it, for my good and His glory.

Takes Me Back...

Tomorrow Jake is speaking in chapel. I am so excited to go hear him preach the Word of God. He is nervous. TOTALLY understandable! And as I was seeking to encourage him I couldn't help but wonder to myself, "will he speak clearly?", "will his transitions work so that it flows?", "will the students accept what he has to say?", "will they respect him?" I was taken back to my days sittings in chapel at SDCC. Feeling the safety of the anonimity that a crowd of students brings, I was more than happy to judge the speaker (and his walk w/ the Lord) based on the 20 minute sermonette he had just delivered. I neatly tucked away mental scores based on stage presence, humor, theology, Bible translation used and relate-ability. Yet, as I sought to calm Jake's nerves a passage from Isaiah came to mind.

"For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
   and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
   it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
   and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."

Isaiah 55:10-11

Why did I not consider this in school? I was so full of my own self-righteousness that I forgot it is the Lord that works. HIS Word does not return empty with out accomplishing HIS purpose because it is HIM who has sent It. I love this passage. I pray that as I continue to grow in the Lord, He will grow my love for His people. Especially those He has called to teach His word. (It really is not easy task, and I truly appreciate those men who take up this post). I pray that my heart will be one of discernment rather than judgment so I may find joy in the expounding of His truth. I pray He will bring this about for my good and His glory.

EUREKA!

The last few post-college months have been a time of self-discovery for me. I knew this would be the case, as per the forewarning from multiple of my elder friends. And, as new discoveries tend to be historic events, I felt I would take note of a few of the memorable ones here for you:

1) It is the taste of coffee not caffine that I am addicted to.
I find this quite exciting because now I can partake of my daily cup (or 3) of coffee without guilt or fear of dependency

2) I find working out enjoyable. 

Mustering the motivation to get up off my couch and go to the gym is difficult, but the actual act of  working, sweating, and the inevitable soreness I experience is not nearly as loathsome as I once imagined it to be.

3) People are my hobby.
Not in the creepy, stalker, gossipy way. But in the "I am motivated by and find worthwhile the act of investing into eternal souls for the glory of the Kingdom" kind of way. I don't enjoy crafting, cooking, reading, shopping or any "normal" hobby past times the way I enjoy being with people

4) I am unfortunately NOT  a blogger. 

This does not mean I will stop blogging. Mearly, that I have found taking time to stop and record my mind is not a priority to me. This blog is in many ways cathartic and edifying, but I have difficulty  setting aside time to make sense of my muddled mind in order to post. And, I still feel that there are many people far more interesting than myself and I prefer to read their blogs rather than write my own.

I began this blog to document the things I am learning during this time of transition. #4 on my list of self-discoveries is a bit of a hidden lever for me. Pull on it and a secret passage into the deep underlying issued of heart creeps open and down into the rabbit hole we go. For, I find that is really symptom of a lack of self-discipline.  It is not just blogging I fail to set time aside for (on the grand-scale of life, blogging is not the important). I fail to spend quality time with the Lord daily, to pray for the people and things important to me, to do the projects I have committed,  and to pour into the lives of those who matter to me. I give half-baked effort to the things in my life that are most edifying, encouraging and honoring to the Lord because it is far easier to focus on me, money, fun, food, sleep, and leisure.
Still, I am encouraged as I process in writing this inward reflection. When I was younger I committed to memory 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, "for God gave us as Spirit not of fear but of power, love and self-control." What a beautiful verse to recall as I dwell on my failings in discipline. The same God that chose me, died for me, called me, and saved me. Gives me His Spirit of power, love and self-control in order to live in a manner worthy of being His disciple for my good and His glory.

Jesus, Mommy and Me

This week my mom came down from Santa Clarita to visit me. It was an unexpected visit. I happened to have some time off work and she wanted to see some friends in the area so she popped down for the day. We sat by my pool, we drove to Old Town, we got lost on the way, we ate dinner at Miguel's Cocina, we got to talk and laugh and just be together and it was wonderful. I have always enjoyed hanging out with my mom. She is one of my dearest friends. We kinda click the way that besties do. Lately, though, i have found it especially wonderful to discuss my Savior with my mom. I feel like the Lord is teaching my mom and i some of the same things right now. He is revealing Himself to us in many of the same ways and sharing it with one another has been so sweet.

We got on the topic of the Gospel together. When was the last time you did that? Discussed the Gospel with someone. Not just in the sense of evangelism but dwelled together on how Christ, God incarnate, came into the world, lived perfectly, as no one else ever could, died on the cross taking the just penalty for your sin and mine, and imputing to us the merited honor He Himself earned in said perfect life, thereby satisfying God's wrath and gracing us with righteous standing before our Maker, and He is victorious over sin and death demonstrated by His resurrection from the grave and His ascension to the right hand of the Father. When was the last time you considered in your conversation what this glorious occurrence means for your life today? I've been thinking a lot about this lately. My view of the place of the Gospel in my life has changed considerably this past year. I attend a church where the Gospel is preached weekly for the benefit of believers and unbelievers alike. And it is beautiful!

My mom and i discussed this change in my perspective.  The more i dwell on this, the more i talk about it with other people, the more i see it in my time in the word. For example the other day i was reading Hebrews and this verse stood out to me, "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today", that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." (Hebrews 3:13) How do we exhort one another daily to combat deceit? We tell one another the truth. The truth of the glorious Gospel of God. The truth that changes lives. I have a friend who told me about the importance of "gospeling" people in your life. Who ever thought of making the Gospel of verb? But what she means is telling others about how the life, death, and resurrection of Christ applies to the situation they are in. And it always does. The Gospel changes everything. I'm learning this a little more each day. I hope it is something i make a habit of sharing for our good and His glory.