EUREKA!

The last few post-college months have been a time of self-discovery for me. I knew this would be the case, as per the forewarning from multiple of my elder friends. And, as new discoveries tend to be historic events, I felt I would take note of a few of the memorable ones here for you:

1) It is the taste of coffee not caffine that I am addicted to.
I find this quite exciting because now I can partake of my daily cup (or 3) of coffee without guilt or fear of dependency

2) I find working out enjoyable. 

Mustering the motivation to get up off my couch and go to the gym is difficult, but the actual act of  working, sweating, and the inevitable soreness I experience is not nearly as loathsome as I once imagined it to be.

3) People are my hobby.
Not in the creepy, stalker, gossipy way. But in the "I am motivated by and find worthwhile the act of investing into eternal souls for the glory of the Kingdom" kind of way. I don't enjoy crafting, cooking, reading, shopping or any "normal" hobby past times the way I enjoy being with people

4) I am unfortunately NOT  a blogger. 

This does not mean I will stop blogging. Mearly, that I have found taking time to stop and record my mind is not a priority to me. This blog is in many ways cathartic and edifying, but I have difficulty  setting aside time to make sense of my muddled mind in order to post. And, I still feel that there are many people far more interesting than myself and I prefer to read their blogs rather than write my own.

I began this blog to document the things I am learning during this time of transition. #4 on my list of self-discoveries is a bit of a hidden lever for me. Pull on it and a secret passage into the deep underlying issued of heart creeps open and down into the rabbit hole we go. For, I find that is really symptom of a lack of self-discipline.  It is not just blogging I fail to set time aside for (on the grand-scale of life, blogging is not the important). I fail to spend quality time with the Lord daily, to pray for the people and things important to me, to do the projects I have committed,  and to pour into the lives of those who matter to me. I give half-baked effort to the things in my life that are most edifying, encouraging and honoring to the Lord because it is far easier to focus on me, money, fun, food, sleep, and leisure.
Still, I am encouraged as I process in writing this inward reflection. When I was younger I committed to memory 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, "for God gave us as Spirit not of fear but of power, love and self-control." What a beautiful verse to recall as I dwell on my failings in discipline. The same God that chose me, died for me, called me, and saved me. Gives me His Spirit of power, love and self-control in order to live in a manner worthy of being His disciple for my good and His glory.