Remain With God: thoughts on a famous passage about marriage

1 Corinthians 7

vs. 17-22

 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God

According to my "tie the knot" app I have been married for 238 days, 20 hours and 6 min. People say this first year is the hardest. I have stopped listening to these "people" because I am almost positive that harder times are coming for our marriage. However, there have been some good times, and some hard times and I have learned a bunch during these past 238 days. Here are some examples: 

1) Like Marian Jordan said "Being married doesn't make you happy. It just makes you married" * Seriously. I am so glad I am married. But there are still some days that I am an unhappy person. Jake can't make that better. Our house, our shared closet or bed, our time together, this ring on my finger,  none of it makes me happy all the time. It's just evidence that I'm married all the time.

2) Being married does not automatically make you wiser or more talented. Raise your hand if you are single and have ever had a married woman talk to you like she knows more than you and has a right to give you advice on all areas of  your life just because she said "I do". Right. She is  lying to you.  I might know more about a few topics due to the fact that I have lived with a boy for the last 8 months but I didn't wake up the next day older, wiser, or suddenly an awesome wife.  

3) Marriage really is a ton of work. Both interpersonal and practical. It's work to make a home. To begin to build a marriage and to begin to create a comfortable place for us to live life together. Talking, Serving, Spending time together, Cleaning, Cooking, Groceries, Adapting, Decorating, Organizing, Learning, Teaching. It's all work. 

4) And Marriage is sanctifying. Being with Jake all the time shows me a lot about myself and a lot about him. We work with each other. It comes from constant community. 

5) Finally, NONE of these things are only learned in marriage. They can be seen from the outside and they can be seen in any community. The first two are givens and the and last two are just a result of living with another person. So... why do people get married?  Why get married at all? Should we even get married? 

There is a scene from the movie Pride and Prejudice that I just love! (I love the whole movie but really, i'll spare you an entire review of it). The dreaded cousin, Mr. Collins wants to marry Elizabeth. He comes in to propose and before he expresses his love to her he wants to make her aware of his reasons. "Firstly," he begins, "I am convinced it will add greatly to my happiness" no matter how many times they are told marriage will not make them happy, people say it will. They really think it will. It won't. "Secondly, it is the duty of a clergyman to set the example for marriage in his parish." People think that it is their christian duty to get married and have a family. They might not say it, but don't they feel like they are less of a believer if they aren't a wife or mother? "Finally, it is at the urging of my esteemed patroness, Lady Deburg, that I select a wife." People feel pressure from their church, friends and family to settle down.

I don't think these are good reasons to get married. But then again, What is a good reason to get married? I'm not sure. But, I had  professor in college tell me, "Run the race hard after God. Set your eyes forward. And if you happen to look around at some point and see there is someone running alongside you, well then you might as well run the race together." **  Maybe that is the key. Headlong after Jesus. Always. Only, sometimes, we get the specific companionship of a spouse.

Ok, getting back to I Corinthians 7. This a famous passage where Paul addresses marriage, divorce and singleness. Remember, he was talking to a church full of self-indulgence and immorality. He as a lot of suggestions for married and single life but the point of all them is to better serve the Lord.  I pulled out the versus above because I think that they are relevant to everyone married or single. "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." Today you find yourself in a specific place in life. Are you living in that place?  Or are you trying to live somewhere else? There are a lot of people that talk about marriage and singleness as gifts. You might have the gift of singleness they say. But instead of worrying about which gift you have what if you lived today where you are. "So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God". Remain with God. I love that phrase. Live that moment in that day, with God. I find it so much easier to live with Jake, or coworkers, or friends, than with God. What would my marriage look like if today I remained with God? 

Later in verse 35 of the same passage Paul is talking about remaining single and he says, "I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." Paul tells believers that if they are not married it is better for them to stay that way. But he doesn't say it to be restrictive but rather because he is aware that the goal of our lives is undivided devotion to the Lord. That's the point. What does that look like in your life? How are you doing the work of the Kingdom where you are? Depending on where the Lord has placed us, in each season, this looks different. But though our lives may look different, the goal of it remains the same. Serve the Lord. 

It's so easy to get distracted by our daily lives. Work, kids, groceries, friends, family, marriage, dating, not dating, school. All of it is part of the life the Lord has assigned to us. How are you serving they Lord in these things? Leave a comment for me and share some ways that you are leading the life He has given you for His Kingdom.  My prayer for myself and of you is that today we would remain with God, in undivided devotion to the Lord, for our good and His glory.

* From Wilderness Skills for Women: How to Survive Heartbreak and Other Full-Blown Meltdowns  (A book I highly recommend for married and single women. Actually I recommend this author. period.) 

** From a Marriage and Family class taught by Dr. Brian Moulton at San Diego Christian College. Good man of God.  

Wise Counsel

1 Corinthians 6:1-11

"When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers! Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God"

I read this passage for weeks, thinking and thinking about what I wanted to say on it, and I came back to one work: WISDOM. As saints, we are blessed with salvation throughout the person and work and Jesus Christ. What's more (yes! incredibly there is more) God also grants us the gift of the Holy Spirit. In Ephesians the Spirit is called a deposit. An evidence of the promise from God to keep and purify us until we are with Him in glory. The Spirit is our helper, our guide, our friend, ever present in times of need. And, the Spirit produces fruit in our lives. We can live a life that honors the Lord because He has given us the ability to do so. WISDOM is one of the characteristics of the Spirit within us. Paul tells the church that they will judge the world and angels and are able to judge each other. The WISDOM to do so does not come from their natural understanding (Paul told them already that none of them are inherently wise) but from the presence of the Spirit within them. 

I was considering how the passage applies to my life. I have no need to sue anyone. I don't desire to take any of my friends court. I don't need retribution for wrongs or the need for someone to deliver to me what they owe me.  But often I find myself in need of guidance.  There are so many times that I could use WISDOM on practical matters. Things like how should I respond to my friend? or Jake and I can't decide how to handle this matter in our marriage... or maybe someday it will be how do I discipline my child in this area? 

First and foremost the scriptures makes it clear that we should take these questions to the Lord. Ephesians 6: 18 tells us to "pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests".  We do have the Holy Spirit within us and have the ability to hear from Him on these matters. BUT I believe it is also important to seek the counsel of others. "The way of the fool seems right but a wise man listens to advice" Proverbs 12:15. The question that this passage in 1 Corinthians addresses so clearly is one of where to seek counsel from. As a proud and stubborn woman, I am guilty of going to the first person who I think will agree with me. Believer or not, I just want someone to take my side. But  Paul asks here "Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers?"  There is a body of believers who are also full of the Spirit of God. Could it be that one of them has been granted by the Spirit wisdom I need in any given area of my life? 

My prayer for myself is that I would turn first to the Lord, and then to His people. That would trust the working of the Holy Spirit in the lives of others. They may be able to see clearly where I can not. And may these actions bring about in the body of Christ a unity through His Spirit that will work in this world for our good and His glory. 

My Big Sister

This is my big sister. And today is her birthday. And let me tell you, you all wish you had a big sister like her. 

I have plenty of stories about Anna. Stories about her hate of spiders, stories about her impeccable fashion sense, stories about driving with her, stories about the epic battles we fought both against and alongside each other. There is the time she got in trouble because I decided to run away. The time she left me in that dark hallway all by myself so that the ghosts would get me while she was safe in the bathroom. I love the one about how she took me down to San Diego when I started college. And I will never forget  that she called me up and surprised me the day after I got engaged. She drove 4+ hours just for the chance to celebrate a new a chapter in my life for an evening. We are have not always been the best of friends, but I can tell you, I have learned so much from being Anna Thomson's little sister. (I use the name Thomson because for the majority of our sisterhood we were Thomsons. She is now Quinn and I, Wilhelm. But we are united in the family Thomson) 

In tribute to one of the greatest teachers God has given me, I will pass on some of the knowledge that life with Anna imparted.... 

Things I learned from Anna: 

1) Going Second is Always Simpler.

you get the chance to see someone else do it first. you follow in their footsteps or take an easier path. i would not have lead the life i did had i been the first born. anna, i am forever in your debt.

2) Just Adore Her

you may not always understand why someone is the way they are. but love them. see the good. give grace to the bad. anna has always accepted me the way i am. even when it makes things harder for her. i have never wondered if she loved me. i know she adores me. the love of someone near to you can give you so much confidence in life. just adore them and watch how they will soar. 

3) "Let Your Level of Intimacy Match Your Level of Commitment"

i remember the moment i heard anna say this. laying in bed as we talked about boys. but i carry it with me still. don't give more of your heart than you have committed to that person. or they have committed to you. relationships take time to gain depth. allow that time. 

4) You've Kinda Gotta Roll with the Crazy

life does some insane things. goes places you didn't know it would. it can be beautiful. it can also be hard. very hard. sometimes you go crazy along with it. i have watched my big sister go through some amazing things. she has so much grace for others. i love when she has grace for herself. she lets go and rolls with the punches. crazy looks good on her. and i'm proud of the woman she is. 

5) We're Quite Entertaining

if nothing else, i love to laugh with my sisters. i mostly just watch them be entertaining. this kind of goes with the crazy thing. they are nuts. but they are so much fun to be around. i am glad i never experienced one day of my life without my sister anna. she make it so fun! the A-Team would have been lost with out the ring-leader of our circus.

Anna, 
Happy Birthday! I love you so much! Thanks for being my sister. For being one step ahead. Showing me the way. For all you've taught me. For loving me. For laughing with me (and at me). You're pretty much the coolest person I know. 
Love, 
Abigail  

A Hard Conversation

1 Corinthians 5:1-12

"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?"

Have you ever had a hard conversation coming with a person and you put it off and put it off and avoided them because you just had no idea what you were going to say? That as been me with this post. I'm sitting down to a conversation with my readers about church discipline. A conversation I have stayed away from because this passage really kicked me in the pants. Even now, as I begin to write, I'm not really sure where this is going to go. But it is getting in the way of moving on. So here we go:

I think that it is very hard to ignore the practical application of this passage in corporate worship. What I mean it that, though some churches do not touch this with a thirty-foot-pole, when you read this there is not doubt that a person who is unrepentant of their sin should no longer be allowed to worship as part of the family. Some churches, like the Corinthians, do not like this idea. They would rather love everyone. They would rather be accepting and not judge. They don't want to seem closed minded so they they close their eyes instead. But, I was reminded in a sermon by John Piper that, Christ is not divided. Titus 2:13-14 tell us that "[Jesus] gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."  You can not separate the pardoning of Christ from the His purifying. 

Now for the hard part. Let's apply our personal life today. In a world of cell phones and social media. Where you don't have to see a person daily to call them friend. You don't have to attend church with them to be aware that they claim to know Christ. You don't have to take communion with them to be their brother. How does this play out? Do we personally cut off association with them, loving them enough to say may God open your eyes? Or do we love them from afar, preaching the gospel when possible as often as possible, hoping the Spirit moves? I don't know. I don't have an answer. I sit here and my heart is like a pendulum. Back and forth. Back and forth. I'm a part of the global church, but how do you carry this out without a local body? I will continue to be in prayer on this one. Maybe I'll have an encouraging update to it soon.... May the Lord reveal His will on this one. For our good and His glory. 

Mind Blown!

1 Corinthians 2:6-16

"Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away. But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”  these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ."

For almost a month now, I have been studying about the incredible way that God works out salvation in the hearts and minds of man. It's absolutely fantastic the way that He has chooses the foolish and base things to make much of Himself and nothing of the world. The cross, the called and the preachers look ridiculous when seen through the eyes of men. Then, in an amazing twist, when we are saved, the "secret and hidden wisdom of God" is made known to us. One of the things I am most in awe of, is the working of the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of our hearts and teach us the mind of God. 

Paul begins this passage by explaining that once a person is saved they begin to be taught wisdom "which God decreed before the ages". This means that we can now look at scripture and understand the amazing plan God has to redeem the world to Himself. No longer does the Bible seem like a hodgepodge of myths and good teachings. Instead, we can see that God has been working since before the world was made to set into motion a plan for our salvation. That is amazing! He blesses us with a love to magnificent that it literally moves heaven and earth to plot out a path to pursue us. DANG! 

But it get's better. Paul continues,  "For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God" Please think about that for a minute. It's fairly easy for me to accept that God knows all my thoughts. It's a bit harder to comprehend how, knowing those evil thoughts of mine, He still loves and accepts me. But, I struggle even more with the thought that He also wants me to understand Him. So much so, that He gives me the Spirit of Himself who comprehends the thoughts of God. And why does He gives us that Spirit? "that we might understand the things freely given us by God."  MIND BLOWN! Let that blow your mind for minute. Then consider this: 

We worry when talking to people about the gospel that they will not accept us. We worry about their judgment of us and of our God. Verse 15 tells us, "the spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one" This is not because suddenly we are better than the world but because, "we have the mind of Christ" If the Spirit within us testifies of the incredible, beautiful, awesome truth of the cross, why worry about what the natural world thinks? We can share boldly about the gospel knowing it is the Spirit who enlightens men. We can step out and proclaim the beauty of Jesus and allow Him to move in the hearts of the hearers. And we can rest in the love of the God who has called us to spread His story for our good and His glory. 

My Weakness

1 Corinthians 2:1-5 

"And I, when I came to you brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message where not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God."

Confession time. This week I have very little desire to post. I slacked on my study in the last few days. I have been really very busy and am tired and would like to sleep. It is finally Friday and I feel it. Usually, when it comes time to post, I have spent at least a few hours preparing: reading, outlining, praying, talking things over with Jake. Usually, I am pretty excited to share (or maybe show off) what the Lord has been teaching me. I feel like I will be well spoken and my words will convict and I will be a blessing to those who read me. It's just like the Lord to bring me to a place where I feel completely inadequate the week I learn about the insignificance of man next to the power of God. 

This passage is a continuation from the last chapter. Paul explained how the foolishness of the gospel message makes much of God's wisdom and about how the insignificance of the people God chooses makes into nothing the lofty of the world. Here, Paul remarks on the fact that it is his own weakness that reveals the power of God. 
Pride is such a simple sin. One minute a preacher can be stoked on how beautiful Jesus is. The next he is trying to think about how best to present that beauty to others. And the next, he is relying on his own eloquence to reveal that beauty to the hearts of man. Men of God through history have had good intentions (saving lost souls) but rely on so many things other than the Spirit to touch the world. Whether it's through fear, logic or even promises of an easy life, we so easily place the burden of salvation on our own shoulders. 

Paul goes in the opposite direction. "I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified".  The gospel is wonderful on it's own. It does not need special words to make it powerful. Paul even says that he spoke in words that seemed unwise and impossible so that if people heard and responded it would be "in demonstration of the Spirit and of power". Again this is all for one reason. That in doing so Paul would not be seen at all. That in talking in this way, in laying down his own pride, people would come to see God as He really is. Powerful! The Corinthians found it easy to follow men because of outward style. But we are called for follow God and rest in His power. The only power that calls us, saves us, and seals us for our good and His glory. 

The Foolishness of God

1 Corinthians 1:17-31

"For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, 

'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.'

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age?Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

A few years ago I was in a philosophy class about the way people think and how that effects our defense of the Gospel. Epistemology and Apologetics  it was called and it was one of the most interesting classes I took at San Diego Christian College. It opened my eyes to the foolishness of the Gospel. We had one student in the class who was convinced that salvation was something you could argue a person to. That if you just answered all their questions and made a more logical presentation, they would have to be converted to your point of view. The rest of the class continually pointed him to this passage in 1 Corinthians, trying to make him see that though apologetics may strengthen the faith of a believer, no eloquent wisdom will ever save anyone. 

This passage says that "it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe". The cross does not look like a very sturdy rescue plan to the world. To the Jews who wanted a mighty warrior king for a messiah, Christ crucified becomes a stumbling block (literally translated: scandal.) To the Greeks who loved logic, philosophy and their gods on distant Olympus the cross seemed ridiculous. If Paul was living today this might read: Christ crucified, fantasy to the Scientist and madness to the Atheist or just one path of many to the New Ager. A god who leaves perfection to give his holy life to die a criminal's death for a people who reject him, this rescue mission seems destined to fail. But "to those who are called (I love that word: CALLED)... Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God." Our God is so mighty and so ingenious that even what seems like foolishness and weakness to the mind of man is far superior to anything found in our world. 

More than all that God, chose to call the most unlikely men to understanding. He could have revealed the genius of His redemptive plan to kings, philosopher, and the most revered minds of the age (which at times He does). But when it came to the Corinthians, Paul reminds them that they are not wise, strong, or anything special. But God chose them (the foolish) for His own purpose. He chose "what is not, to bring to nothing things that are." So that in the salvation of the weak and foolish the world would be put to shame. He also chose them remind them that He saves. He saves us by becoming our wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption. We have none of these things on our own but in the greatness of the plan of our God, He gives us the most amazing parts of Himself so that we can be something when on our own we are nothing. He makes us special in Christ Jesus  in order that "the one who boasts, boast in the Lord" for our good and His glory.